One is that mother is gone... a chapter that has ended in your book of life.
Second is that if your mother loved you, she wouldn't want you mourning over her death for a prolonged period, if at all. She would want you to go on with your life and be a happy, healthy person, wouldn't she? Now often people lay guilt on themselves, saying "I should have gone to see her more, I should have gotten her a better doctor, I wish I had or hadn't done this or that." But all that is water over the dam. It makes no difference now. What has happened is final, and your feeling guilty isn't helping your mother a bit and most likely has a bad effect on those you love who are still around you. For the benefit of yourself and those you love, you MUST disconnect the guilt. This exercise will help you do that because it says "It will disconnect you from all the emotional upsets you experienced involving your mother."
Now you must understand that this makes sense. You can't change the past. But you can change your reaction to the past. Do you want your kids and friends moping over your death when it's your time to go? I doubt it. Give YOUR mother the same consideration. The good memories and feelings will remain after this exercise, but the upset feelings will be gone. When you think of mother in the future only good feelings will come -- how fortunate you were to have had a good mother. A lot of people didn't.
What makes this exercise work is that another person has to say it to you, and in the right way. You can believe what I wrote above, but it still needs the disconnect ceremony I've recorded to be effective. If you are longing the loss of a mother long gone, get into the feelings the best you can and be freely salivating when you hear the exercise. This shows dominance of the autonomic nervous system during the voice message, which is where you want to be..
You can always repeat the exercise at a later time, like a day or two or week or more. Soon after a death I have found this necessary. Do it until only pleasant feelings remain.
NOTE: The author of this page is not a state or medically-licensed professional.
Psychological Research Foundation, Inc.
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